About Me

simply ebi. be yourself but don't be selfish.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Freaking out.

These few days I was so afraid of losing you. You were different. You were not being you. But I think both of us know things happened for some reasons. We are all freaking out.

You are not expecting the job offer at the federal government to land in your mailbox. Which will force you to move to West Malaysia (most probably). You never really expecting to serve outside Sarawak or even Kuching. You will be away from your mamak and bapak for the first time. 

Working is different from studying. No two weeks break, no one month break, no two months break. You do not know when will you be home like when we were student when everything was pre-arranged.

You don't like to speak in Malay language. Not because you hate it or them. But you just a pure Sarawak Malay who loves to speak your own mother tongue. You will miss kelaka sarawak. 

Non of your relatives is in West Malaysia. Most of your friends are also Sarawakian. If this fact is worrying me enough, I know it does more to you. 

I am not so worry and insecure about you when you live in Kuching because your parents are amazing parents who take care of you very well. But you will be away from them and not even me is there to look after you. This lead me to overthinking in which I'm not so good in controlling it.  

I hope time goes fast and everything goes well. I just want to fast forward to the time where I'll be there to take care of you because I adore you so much. Life is short and I don't think we should take it slow anymore.

Last night we started to calm down. And I got you back. That smile of yours is back.  I know you were just freaking out just like I do. 

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